Be an Answer Guide, Not an Answer Man

URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/db3b80e1-0ccd-401a-9e07-b15212163bc1

Chad Hudson's AI podcast notes from Be an Answer Guide, Not an Answer Man

How to Answer Questions That Are Unanswerable
Key takeaways:

• We should encourage our children to seek answers through scripture, prayer, and wise counsel
• There are some questions that are unanswerable, particularly ones that only God can answer
• We may not always have a satisfying answer to our children's difficult experiences
• Asking 'what next?' can be more helpful than asking 'why?'
  Transcript:
  Speaker 1
  One is, do we put ourselves in the role of God where we want to help our kids learn how to go and source those answers through scripture and prayer and other things? And wise counsel of which we can be a part of that wise counsel. The second thing I find really interesting about Sal's question is, do we try to answer questions that are in fact unanswerable? Unless you are God, right? So your child may go through a difficult season. It might be really significant. Maybe you have a daughter and a boy breaks her heart or you have a son who has a really disappointing outcome at school or on a sports team. And then they come to you and say, dad, you know, why did this happen? Why did this happen? And you might try to find the answer for that. But you know what, there may not be an answer that you can give in a neat little package that just makes perfect sense because you don't have the whole entire picture like God does. And I recently lost it on a podcast and he was saying that often he finds the older he gets the less helpful the question why is. He said, I've stopped asking the question why about my life circumstances. Instead, what I've started asking is the question, what next? What next? (Time 0:05:52)
  - Tags:: helping, parenting, questions,

How to Answer Questions That Are Unanswerable
Transcript:
Speaker 1
One is, do we put ourselves in the role of God where we want to help our kids learn how to go and source those answers through scripture and prayer and other things? And wise counsel of which we can be a part of that wise counsel. The second thing I find really interesting about Sal's question is, do we try to answer questions that are in fact unanswerable? Unless you are God, right? So your child may go through a difficult season. It might be really significant. Maybe you have a daughter and a boy breaks her heart or you have a son who has a really disappointing outcome at school or on a sports team. And then they come to you and say, dad, you know, why did this happen? Why did this happen? And you might try to find the answer for that. But you know what, there may not be an answer that you can give in a neat little package that just makes perfect sense because you don't have the whole entire picture like God does. And I recently lost it on a podcast and he was saying that often he finds the older he gets the less helpful the question why is. He said, I've stopped asking the question why about my life circumstances. Instead, what I've started asking is the question, what next? What next? (Time 0:05:52)

The Importance of Allowing Children to Fail and Learning from Mistakes
Key takeaways:

• It's okay to let children make mistakes and learn from them
• Seeking advice on listening to children better can lead to a variety of suggestions
• Some suggestions for better communication with children include asking questions and letting them think
• Parents should be prepared for their children to say things that they may not agree with
  Transcript:
  Speaker 2
  And as long as it's not something detrimental, you know, I think they can through that process of picking the wrong thing, come back and go, okay, you know, that's what I wanted to do. I kind of figured they wouldn't really, maybe the right answer, but I did it. Now I know. And now they've learned that lesson, you know, it's okay to let them fail. And then I just went on to, I just went on the web and asked the question how to listen to your children better. And you know, I'm not going to, there was a whole host of things that came up. One of them was from psychology today, which is probably junk, but no offense to the editors in psychology today, however, well, I probably agree with Lawson. Maybe I don't care if it's offensive to them. But I will say some, they had, they had these three answers, a lot of, a lot of like, you know, creating opportunity to sit down and ask questions, let them think all that, you know, which Is great. But then that one of them also kind of stuck out to me and said, be careful when you ask your child and you're walking them through, you know, a problem solving a kind of process by asking Them questions and letting them think they may say something that makes you angry. They may say something that you disagree with. And so during, I think the paraphrase of that is during the, (Time 0:11:05)
  - Tags:: listening, parenting, reaction,

Jesus' teaching style: asking questions to make people think
Key takeaways:

• Jesus used questions to make people think and introspectively reflect on their thoughts.
• As parents, it's important to engage in thoughtful conversations with our children during challenging times.
• Rather than simply providing answers, it's beneficial to encourage others to verbalize their thoughts and find their own solutions.
  Transcript:
  Speaker 2
  One of the greatest examples we have is Jesus. You know, he, he, he asked questions way more than he gave answers and would even ask a question to a question. You know, he was like the master of making people introspectively think about what they think the disciples came to him and said, said, people are saying this and this and this about You. And they're, they're saying you're this and they're saying you're that. And he said, well, who did you say that? That's great. You know, and it's like, I, I just, I've always imagined they're all like, like quiet, like who's going to speak first and, you know, they're, they're thinking and trying to, trying To work up the courage to say what they all are thinking. Um, but it was because, you know, did he have the answer? Of course. He had all answers for everything. He asked the, the Pharisees questions. You know, he would turn it right around on them. Um, which was better than proclaiming something or, or declaring, you know, because he was all knowing it was, it was, I'm going to use this as an opportunity for you to verbalize what You're asking me and I'm going to turn it back on you doing that in any sort of a malicious way. He was making people think. And I think as a dad, it's a great example for us, especially as your kids are, are older. I mean, the eight year old is, is coming to you for, for certain things different than like a middle school or young high school or, or, you know, when your kids first entering college Or their first job or something like that, and, and they may have some difficult boss or a person they're working with or some moral conflict. That is, that is the time to have a sit down and, and think it through together versus you're not, you're not trying to give them a pop quiz with a bunch of questions, you know, putting them On the spot. (Time 0:16:47)
  - Tags:: helping, parenting,

Teaching to Change Lives: A Book Recommendation for Parents
Key takeaways:

• Teaching to Change Lives by Howard Hendricks is a recommended book for parents
• The book emphasizes the importance of teaching children how to think critically
• Parents should focus on helping their children develop the ability to find answers rather than simply providing all the answers themselves
  Transcript:
  Speaker 1
  You know, you've hit on a topic loss and, uh, that I'm glad you led to this. I'm one of the books I love to recommend over and over for parents, dads, moms is teaching to change lives by Howard Hendricks. And some people would look at that and go, well, that's kind of an odd book to recommend for parenting. It doesn't say parenting in the title. It doesn't say anything about motherhood or fatherhood, but that book, um, it's a classic, like if you're a Christian and you're, you know, over some age of accountability, go read That book, man, like it should be on your top 10 or 20, I think, um, and that's absolute truth. I just said, no, I'm just kidding. Um, uh, because the reason I love that book so much is because it talks about in part, in part, what is our job when we're in the role of teacher? And as a parent, you're in the role of teacher for a long, long time. Uh, and I think back to Sal's question or comment, we think our job is to possess all of the answers and transfer them into the head of our children. Like I've got them all in my head. I'm going to put them all in your head. And in fact, what Howard Hendricks argues in the book, teaching to change lives is your job actually is to teach them how to think critically. And get to the place where they can answer. And so the other day, one of my kids asked me how to spell a word. He said, dad, how do you spell something? (Time 0:18:51)
  - Tags:: book,

Episode AI notes

1. Parents should encourage their children to seek answers through scripture, prayer, and wise counsel
2. Some questions may be unanswerable and it's okay to not have all the answers
3. Parents should focus on supporting their children and asking 'what next?' instead of dwelling on the why
4. Letting children make mistakes and learn from them is important
5. Seeking advice on listening to children better can provide helpful suggestions
6. Jesus used questions to make people think and it's beneficial for parents to do the same with their children
7. Engaging in thoughtful conversations with children during challenging times is crucial
8. Teaching to Change Lives by Howard Hendricks is a recommended book for parents
9. Parents should teach their children how to think critically and find answers for themselves
10. Focusing on nurturing critical thinking skills rather than providing all the answers is important for parents (Time 0:00:00)